There is a feeling that you should just go home,
And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is.
I hate black flat shoes. I hate them because I love them so much that I wear them ALL THE TIME, and then they start to smell. And then my feet begin to smell. And no amount of washing can make them better again... and I'm getting tired of saying, "Yes, they smell, I'm sorry" when my mom and I are watching tv.
Anyway.
The Arts Festival thing was last night, and I'll admit I was a little worried... not because I get stage-fright, it's been years since I've gotten stage-fright... I performed a song with Amelia that she wrote (and I assisted), and another song (Yankee Bayonet, woop woop) with Jon, and I was a little nervous because both of them had confided that they were nervous singing in front of people. Amelia in particular... while we were sitting in the audience watching the first half of the program (we weren't until after intermission) I noticed her hands shaking for most of the time. I never know what to tell people to get them out of stage-fright... I understand it, but I don't know how to counteract it. I simply don't have it. Anyway. Both the songs went excellently! Aside from some minorly psychotic microphones. I love performing, I love music, I love stages and I LOVE looking out and seeing the audience and being able to interact with them... and these I probably love too much. Last year I got a bit of a high off of just performing ONE song... last night I had two. sigh.
The bummer is that, now that I have the assurance that I have a good voice, I don't really have a way to do anything with it. I wish I could have one of those rooms with the computers and keyboards and mics and all the recording equipment... I've got about 15 songs I've written in the last few years that I feel are (some more than others) pretty much ready to be recorded. But I don't really have a means to that end. Ah well... just have to wait and see, I guess. If all else fails, I can always play for the homeschoolers... haha.
In other news, French oral final is a week from Wednesday, and the written final is two weeks from today. Then I am free. I get a bit of a thrill when I think of that, only, then I remember how much work and stress and death comes with finals, and I feel a sudden terror. I'm trying to decide how much 50 bonus points are worth to me in that class... because there's an impossibly hard assignment due next Wednesday, if I so decide that the bonus points ARE worth it. I'm kind of thinking that I won't bother with the bonus things, though, because I'm already getting an A in it anyway. But I'm not sure... my perfectionist nature and my sane, reasonable, if-you-do-this-you-will-die nature are at odds recently.
Did I ever mention that I failed miserably at growing out my nails? Miserably. This is sad.
Gahhhhh, I'm so tired of school. I want to be doing something amazing that I love and that makes me feel accomplished. I want to do what I did last night. I want to not worry about good grades and all the stress that comes with them. I'm ready to be done with this... next course, please?
Have you tried white vinegar on your shoes? I did that with mine, and it seemed to work pretty well.
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