Sunday, October 24, 2010
Today is yet another "first" without Papa - he would have been 86 today. I'd made up my mind not to make a big deal about it... I mean, Ami is going to have a hard enough time herself today, and I know Dad is, too. But today in church I just couldn't stop thinking about him. I think the hardest thing for me to accept is that the people I'll build my life with someday will never have known him. I'll never get to introduce him to my boyfriend. He won't be at my wedding, and my kinds won't have a great-grandfather. I feel like Papa is so much a part of all of us that it's impossible for someone NOT to know him... but I suppose it kind of has to be possible after all. Every time I feel like I'm moving past it, something comes up and brings me back. When Dad and Mom come home from church we're going to Ami's to spend the afternoon with her. I know it's the important thing to do... but all I really want to do is go somewhere totally unrelated to all of this - read a book, drink some coffee, watch a movie, I don't know. Just not this.
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Sorry today is hard for you. My grandmother died on the same day I was born. Every birthday I think of her.
ReplyDeleteLouly...I miss him so much. I wish that we could have all been together today instead of spread out all over California.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about that today too...how I feel sad for anyone who comes into our family and didn't get the privilege of meeting him. What an extraordinary man! We were so blessed to have him as our grandfather...but still, I feel cheated out of the many more years I had hoped he would be with us.
I'm so thankful that he became a believer two days before he died. I don't know how I would cope with all of this, otherwise.
I love you so much!