Well friends, this is it - this is what it comes down to. My wisdom teeth and I are parting ways. I'd hoped that things would work out between us, but apparently I was delusional in that respect. Ain't that the way. So unfortunately, I'll be out for a few days. The nice thing is that I don't have to go to school on Thursday, or Friday... though I do like going to Groups on Fridays (our homeschool co-op that I complained of for years but will really end up missing next year...). Hopefully I'll be off of drugs by Saturday, and not at all puffy... because we're doing a long mime presentation at my sister and her husband's church, and I would hate to look like a chipmunk for that. Especially with short hair... that would just look awful. I have to say, aside from my fear of needles or of swallowing cotton or of tasting blood for three days... I am terrified of looking like a chipmunk. I have lovely friends, however. Hanna and Amelia are both coming over at different times on Friday to check up on me, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Hopefully I won't be saying strange things or hallucinating because of the vicodin. I get weird dreams from cold medicine.
I have to admit. I'm super nervous about this. I don't handle physical pain well. So as a matter of fact, if you should happen to think of it, I'd really appreciate some prayers for tomorrow. (Surgery starts at 10:15, I think. It's the ensuing two days I'm mostly worried about, though.)
Anyway. Enough of this. Tuesdays are my super long days, and usually I dread them... (all two that I've had this semester, anyway). In fact this morning I had to give myself a pep-talk up until the moment I walked in to class; I hate them that much. But today was a pretty good one. Amelia studied at school all day while I was in class, so I got to see her during my break... and then after all my classes finished, we met up with some of the other girls and sat and talked for a little bit. Amelia and I then went off to Jack-in-the-Box, picked up Laura, and went to the harbor for hot chocolate. I love driving so, SO much. I love having the freedom to go see my friends when and however how long I want... being able to come home when I want is nice, too. Last night I went to Amelia's after mime (which ends at 5), and I didn't come home until I noticed that it was 11. This evening when I was driving back from the harbor, one of my favorite songs was playing and I didn't want to interrupt it... so I just kept driving around until it finished. We all need some activity that is strictly ours - that makes us feel independent, satisfied, comforted. I suppose that driving is mine.
I don't know if I mentioned this, but a few nights ago we took down all of our Christmas things. I don't know why it depressed me especially this year. Usually when January comes around it's like, alright, enough with the tree and decorations... or at least, I suppose that's the normal reaction. Over the past years, though, Christmas lights have become strangely important to me. During the past month, whenever I sat here at my computer, I always plugged the tree in. If I was in my room any time after sun-down, I would plug in the strand of multi-colored lights that go around my window. Now they're all gone, and I feel oddly deserted. I think part of the reason is that I've had terrible nightmares a lot this year, and for some reason Christmas lights around my window make it all alright when I wake up in the middle of the night. Now it's just dark.
I've been feeling oddly frustrated with some things lately... the odd thing isn't that I'm frustrated, so much as what I'm frustrated at. The stupid thing is that I don't even know what's bothering me. If I did, I could probably figure out how to start taking care of it. I guess I just feel restless, is all. For a long time I was genuinely content with the way things have been around here socially. Now, for some reason, I get these sudden bouts of intolerance. You notice how much I'm saying "for some reason" these days? I just realized that. Hmph... silly. Anyway, this isn't to say that I'm ungrateful for the friends I've got, no no. I've been incredibly blessed by them, especially lately. I'm realizing more and more how thankful I am to have a good solid group of Christian friends. It's just that.... hm. That's the problem. I don't know what it is. Square one, jack.
I think I'll go do some homework for a bit. Or cut up magazines. That sounds a little more appealing. Hope you're all doing well... nobody's blogging much these days, which is strange. But I hope everything's going well for you, and that this blasted hot weather isn't affecting you as negatively as it affects the people in line at Arco.
and the iiiice in my drink...
ReplyDelete