This modern thought can get the best of you.

Did I mention the other day that I sent off my first college application? I think I did. I haven't really done anything else about college since, but I need to. There are three more to apply to - except that Torrey has it's own application, so it's really more like four more. Silly Biola. My only California choice. I was thinking about that today and wondering if I narrowed my choices, California-wise, purposefully because I'm tired of California. Lately I've been thinking how nice it is to have my family so close, and friends and whatnot, in a place where you have a history... but I think subconsciously I know that I've still got to get out. At least for a while. Nothing against Biola, but I almost feel like I'm making it hard for myself to stay in California on purpose.

Shoot. If somebody from Biola sees this, that'll lessen my chances of staying even more. Rest assured, Biola-person, that this distaste for California has nothing to do with your school. If I didn't have a great respect for it, I wouldn't be applying.

Now that that's off my chest.

I'm house-sitting again, that place with the crazy neighbor and the smelly pets. Seriously, it's loathsome - the pets, anyway. The dog's odor is nothing short of offensive, and the cat is rather pesky. He wanders around the house crying just to get attention. As someone who is used to taking creatures at their word, I of course have to go and see what's wrong every time I hear him whine in another room. I gave that up a few minutes ago, though. Some creatures are simply loud and annoying. No two ways about it.

Today was a strange day. It started alright, went downhill, plunged into a valley, and then got back on level ground again. I'm in a good enough mood right now - in fact, it was a very pleasant evening. It was just the day that was rough. I don't even know why, really... I mean I woke up in a good enough mood, had an average amount of sleep (I've been at 6 or 7 hours for a while now, which I think is fairly decent for a student, right?). I even ate food today, which is something that often gets overlooked. But somehow right around lunchtime I crashed - not so much physically as emotionally. I have a break for over an hour between classes and all my friends are in other classes at that time, so I usually just spend the break reading somewhere. Today I couldn't focus, though. In my class just before break, I started feeling a little dizzy, and when I got out of class, I felt like I was going to throw up. When Amelia went to her class and I was on my own, I started feeling really frustrated for some reason that I couldn't figure out. I still felt nauseous, too, and for some reason I started feeling like I was going to cry. I sat in my car and tried to read, but I ended up watching planes fly by. It was the strangest thing. Because I don't just mean that I was feeling emotional today. I mean I was genuinely, sincerely and completely distraught. I haven't felt that down in a while. It wasn't fun.

Anyway, I had to wait around at school for over a half hour after my last class got out, so that I could meet Amelia and take her home. When I finally got to MY house, it was almost 5 o'clock and I was dead tired. All I wanted to do was drink some coffee and hang out on the computer. Surprise - power outage in the neighborhood. Mom got home at the same time and we were hungry, so just as I was preparing to give her the sob-story of my day, she suggested that we go out to Carl's Jr. We went together and had it "for here" - I don't remember the last time we did that. It was really nice, too. We're all so freakishly busy and stressed all the time... but it was really nice to just sit there together and eat. I miss that. After dinner, we went over to the house where I'm staying so that Mom could relax and watch TV - since ours still wasn't working. I don't think the power came back on at our place until about 10 pm. Anyway, Kate joined us when she got off of work, and the three of us watched "While You Were Sleeping", and then the newest Narnia movie. Mom left earlier, but Kate just left a bit before 11. I didn't do any homework or applications like I had planned on doing tonight, but I had much more fun with them. I think it helped me get sane again, too. I love my family. I forget sometimes how important that is, but it's true. I love them a lot.

Tomorrow I'm teaching the art class to the little homeschool kiddos with Amelia, and then she's gonna spend the night over here with me. I have a feeling I won't be getting much work done in the next few days. Oh well... sometimes you just gotta let it go for a while.

Whenever I get super stressed, I try to think about Ireland. I just see myself wandering around some rugged coastline or walking over green hills in the rain, and it's an instant fix. I still tend to think of it as too perfect to be real... then I remind myself that I have the tickets, and then I get the same feeling of excited-epiphany. Every time! It doesn't really ever seem normal or like old news. I'm going to Ireland in four months. I'm doing what I've wanted to do since I was fourteen. I may not have much money when it's all over and donewith, but that doesn't really matter. I have tickets!

Alright. It's after midnight and I have a short morning tomorrow. But I'm still not really tired. Maybe I'll just watch "Frasier" for a while... God bless netflix, truly.

Goodnight.