Monday, August 22, 2011

And I need you more than want you.

Soooo.... hi. I am a sheepish person for not writing sooner. I should have, because I've had a lot of time to do a post of good length... but summing up a month is just too daunting. I've been back for a week exactly (well, almost exactly... our plane didn't land until a bit after 8:00.), which is so, so strange. In a way it seems like it's been an eternity since we all ate our last meal together in LA at In-n-Out, watching Delta's and Southwest's swoop over us to land or fly away as they pleased. But in another way, I can't believe it's been that long. I still find myself thinking about what time it is in Prague, and what the people that I came to love there are doing. The worst is when I do that and realize that it's 2 or 3 in the morning there, and they're all sleeping. Somehow that fills me with an incredibly lonely feeling. Apparently the 307 million people who live in this country aren't enough to keep me company.

sigh. As I said, daunting. So I'm not really going to try. Besides, right now I'm tired and could use a cup of coffee and something mindless, like a Rookie Blue episode. Today was my first day back at school, and it was a good day, all things considered. I only had one class and I got to hang out with friends the rest of the time. Tomorrow will be a longer day, but that's mostly with friends too, so it's all good. VC just isn't intimidating anymore. I used to worry every morning before going to school; I even hated walking across campus. The situations there haven't changed - people are still high, still creeps, and everything from bagels to textbooks is overpriced - but my tolerance for discomfort seems to have risen considerably, so I survive. I hope that spirit carries over with me in the next few weeks while I'm looking for a job. Yikes.

Anyway. In short, the trip was very good. It was really different than last year - some things were definitely better, and some things were definitely worse. Other things were eerily similar, so dealing with them for a second round was a good challenge. Last year I had an impossible time adjusting back to life here; I really came into my own over there, and I got the whole independent/I'm-my-own-person-and-hey-it's-cool/I-can-conquer-the-world! travel bug. This year was a bit different with my parents there... it worked out well, but it wasn't quite the same independent feeling as last year. So this year was more about the relationships. I feel like our team made a lot of strong friendships with each other and the Czechs (I know I did, anyway). So, for me, that was the hard thing about leaving. But Facebook is doing an alright job of keeping us in touch. I really do want to go back, though - I don't know if I can do Team Praha again, because they're not doing it for two years and I don't know where I'll be in two years. But maybe I can get over there on my own, like Jon did. Because that would be really cool.

Oy, I could go to sleep right now. I think I'm going to drink some coffee and watch some tv and fall asleep like the old woman that I am.

Seriously, I feel so old today. How atrocious.

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